Secrets of the Meetings
by Em-uh-li
Summary: The meetings with Akito that we see as painful and terrifying are seen completely different through the eyes of Kureno
1. Prologue

Hi! This is only a quick introduction that I thought I should do to bring you in to the story! Please regard that there will be a first real chapter, and this was not made to be long, and only to tell you what I'm try to accomplish! I hope you enjoy Em-uh-lee's first Fruits Basket fanfiction::claps for self and bows before rushing off:

Disclaimer: I do not in any way own Fruits Basket.

So Akito always has these meetings where all his little Juunishi come to him and they sit and drink tea and talk. Well that's what we think at least. That and we, along with Tohru probably feel that it is a hard, scary time for the Zodiac members, a time when they are controlled and have to listen to every God forsaken word the Akito might happen to utter.

Too bad we're so freaking wrong that it's not even funny. No, there are many things that go on behind closed doors. Mostly things that shouldn't be told to the public, but now is the time to seek out the truth in Akito's meetings. And we'll have Kureno tell the story for us since he's with Akito most of the time.

Let Kureno begin on his rant about Akito and how psychotic this boy can be. Because really, who better to tell you than a person who is stuck with the physco all day? (A/N you probably think that I hate Akito, but I don't, I just dislike him deeply. And I've decided to make this whole scary curse thing a bit lighter of a burden!)


	2. Etch a Sketch

Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket! Nor the Macarena! Or Pretty Pretty Princess, or Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Oh and not Etch- a – Sketch!

Hello there! This is only my second story, and my first Fruits Basket story! I don't know how good it'll be, but I thought I might as well give it a try! Enjoy! (Hopefully!)

Some of the stupidest meetings you can ever see are the ones that Akito has with Hatori, believe me. Yes, all the times when Akito calls Hatori because he feels "sick" are fake. I always sit there, hidden from view, but there. Do you think I would be able to roam freely when Akito is with other people? No. You know why? Because he's psychotic. Pretty much.

Hatori always walks in with the same, emotionless expression on his face. His eyes are set on the ground, and he doesn't even bother to ask Akito what's wrong. Yes, Hatori is smarter than most, and he knows very well that Akito puts the thermometer in his cup of tea when Tori isn't looking so it'll look like he has a high temperature. I kind of feel bad for Hatori, because if he even tried to yell at Akito he would get his butt kicked.

I recall one time in particular, it was probably the stupidest moment(s) of my whole life, probably, but I'm not sure. Akito sat there, hyper as usual across from his beloved "Tori-poo". He was bouncing quite more than on a normal basis, and waiting for the right words to come to his mouth.

"Hey ,Tori."

"Yes, Aktio?"

"Knock, knock"

"Akito, really, do we have to do this right now?"

"SHUT UP AND ANSWER ME OR I'M GIVING YOU A WEDGIE!"

" :long sigh: Well then... who's there?"

"Orange!"

"Orange who?"

" hehehehe...KNOCK KNOCK!"

I recall that this went on for at least fifteen minutes before finally, Akito became bored and attempted to give poor Hatori a wedgie even though the man had played his stupid game with him. He failed though, after all, Hatori is a lot stronger than him. Yes, even if he would get hit by the crazed midget, it's better than getting a wedgie, at age 26.

Meetings like this happen almost everyday, but sometimes I get wrapped into them too, and then it's just horrible. Somehow I always get played off as the lameass that knows how to play Pretty Pretty Princess and likes Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. It's all Akito's doing though, really, I swear on my life. I'll give you an example of a time.

Ah yes, it was a lovely stuffy summer day and Hatori had come for various reasons. I sat quietly in my corner, playing with an Etch- a- Sketch because I had nothing better to do. I heard them talking randomly, and Akito laughing from time to time, the usual. Then, I heard Akito bark out my name. I looked up, a bit dazed and dropped my lovely picture of a box to go to his side.

"Kureno tell Tori-poo that it wasn't I that was dancing to the Macarena last night. Tell him it was you and that I don't even know how to do the dance!" Akito yelled madly, trying to get me to confess. I looked over at Hatori, hoping to see in his eyes that this was a ridiculous accusation. Instead I saw a doubtful tinge, and a bit of curiosity. Not what I wanted to see.

"Macarena? Well, actually..." I needed to defend my good name...well, at least my name in general. I felt Akito dig his nails into my arm and I changed my mind quickly.

"OOHHHH the Macarena, back where I come from we call it something different!" I yelled out randomly. Hatori stared a bit confused.

"Um...where do you come from that it's different?" Hatori asked. I gulped, Akito glaring madly at me for my stupid mistake. I looked around trying to find an escape. "_Say something in a different language then run off!_" my mind yelled. But that sounded stupid, instead I settled for saying...well something even stupider.

"HEY! Do you guys want to see my Etch- a - Sketch box?" I yelped out. Hatori's eyes grew a bit dim, and I could see Akito was surprised that I was so dumb. I felt like dying. More than I ever had before. Still, to add to my torture, Akito said that indeed, he did want to see my "art".

I lumbered slowly over to my dark corner and picked up my Etch- a - Sketch. I quickly walked back and handed it to Akito who proudly showed it to Hatori. Hatori nodded, and nicely smiled at me. "_He must think I'm retarded or something..._" I said to myself. All my dignity and respect for myself had vanished. I didn't even feel like dying now, I just wanted to stand there and let myself disappear into a big blob of nothingness.

I was so out of it, that I didn't even mind that much when Akito lovingly grabbed my neck, pulling me down to hug him and cuddle my face. Nor that he said, "Oh Reno-poo is so sweet and loving! I want to cuddle him all day!". Okay I winced a bit at that, especially when I saw Hatori about to burst with laughter, for the first time ever. Hatori stood and said his farewells before rushing out of the room.

You might think that now I could care less about myself, but oh no, worse is to come. Because seriously, what happens when you put Ayame and Akito in a room together. Well, let's just say I can't describe it by the end of this chapter. Let alone in five seconds.


	3. Who loves you more baby?

I'm sorry it took so long to update! I promise to make it more frequent soon, but I have no excuse for why I waited so long before. I'll just call it a vacation from writing! Well here's chapter two, it's not that long, but I hope you like it!

Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket, or map quest (Like the website if you weren't sure.)

Oh yes, the lovely days when Ayame comes. He and Akito don't get along very well, or that's what everyone thinks. I know the truth though. They hold a love for each other that no one can understand. I'm sorry, but ew. There are many times when I want to gouge my eyes out, but instead I decide to bury my head into the hands. But it's always the same. Once I do this a feel a cold hand pull my head up and look to see a very happy Akito.

"Worry not Kureno, I still love you, Ayame is just, special to me." He says happily. I sit there, staring at him blankly and mentally screaming "What's wrong with you? Do I look jealous of you?" but I never say anything. I really don't want to loose an ear or a leg to a midget.

There are many times when I wonder why I was placed in this odd family. Like the time when Ayame and Akito were fighting about the words to the Reading Rainbow theme song. After fighting over it, they came to me and made me go rent a show of it so we could all listen to the song. I gladly ran off to the movie store, and felt really stupid renting a Reading Rainbow episode, but I did.

We all sat there, watching intently as the song started to play. As it turns out, neither of them were right. And that night ended up even lovelier, when Akito and Ayame got drunk. I was, well okay, but I did drink just a little too much for my liking. All I remember is singing Reading Rainbow like, hundreds of times.

I **do** remember going home, the night **ended** with me alone in my cozy house. There were no other men, so stop thinking that. Okay? Good. As for Akito and Ayame being together, well I rather not think of that.

There was this other time, when I was called into action once again, well it was more like a simple quest. Akito was again fighting with his "lovie dove" and this time it was about Yuki. They were trying to see who he loved more. (A/N: this is dedicated to Nemo-chan! Haha). It was about to turn into a blood bath, when I, on my own, stepped in and asked if there was anyway I could help settle this. They calmed down a bit, and thought of various ways.

Let's just say, it turns out that it was a bad thing that I'm so caring. They decided to make me go hunt down Yuki and drag him back here. I was sure he would be **just thrilled**. So I was on my way to Shigure's house, and I really had no idea where it was so I had to look it up on Map quest before I could even get started, but eventually I could see it in the distance.

I knocked on the door and the overly happy Tohru answered. I asked her to fetched Yuki and she skipped off, calling his name out. He replied and walked to the door, looking oh so...well not happy.

"You need to come with me." I said grabbing his arm. He glared at me, but let me drag him up the path. And when we got back to Akito and Ayame, well let's just save that for the next chapter, shall we?


	4. Puppy Dogs and Myspace Rapeage

**Why Hello there! It's been far too long, and I hope to update much more. I've been trying to keep up on this and my Inuyasha story, (if you like Inuyasha you should check it out!) But anyways, I never knew maintaining two stories could be so hard! Now that it's summer, I promise to update more, and have longer, funnier chapters! Be on the look out!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anyone from Fruits Basket, nor do I own Myspace.**

Yuki stood still, and very stiff as I felt him glaring at me from the corner of my eye. Akito and Ayame looked happy though, and as long as Akito wasn't mad at me, I was pretty okay.

"Yuki dearest, since we clearly can't figure out who you love more, we will have to do some tests." Akito said while Ayame clapped. Akito had me bring Yuki to the middle of the room and Ayame and Akito stood at each side of the room. I sighed, this was going to be interesting.

"Alright, you go first Ayame." Akito said, this was the first time I ever heard him attempt to be polite. "Fine." Ayame replied. He put his hands on his knees and made little whistles trying to get Yuki's attention, "Here Yuki! Here boy! C'mere!" He said in a happy girly voice.

Yuki's face dropped, and I had to hide my laughter. "Do you really think, I'll just trot over to one of you? I'm not some animal!" Yuki yelled madly.

"Well actually..." I went to say but Yuki shot me one of those glares, "I know we're in the Zodiac, I know we all **represent **animals, Kureno, shut up.". I rolled my eyes and turned away, I was just trying to lighten the mood, but whatever!

"Nu uh Yuki, you're wrong! I'm God! I OWN you! Gah hahahahah!" Akito started laughing hysterically as we all sat there, even Ayame was a bit disturbed. Akito eventually stopped, it took a while but he did.

Finally they let Yuki go, coming to the conclusion that he loved them both equally, clearly Yuki had no say in this. I was finally able to go back to my piece, or so I thought. As I sat peacefully, Akito showed Ayame to the door, then came back and got on his computer.

"KURENO! Noooo! Someone from Myspace is coming to our house! I'm going to get raped! RAPED I TELL YOU!" Akito screamed running around in circles. I sighed and grabbed his hair, pulling him down to the ground.

"Akito, chill out, they're not going to come rape you. Who is the person you're talking to?" I asked calmly. He stopped his ranting long enough to pull up the persons Myspace.

"Akito..."

"Nooo it's all over! They called, they're coming!"

"Akito, listen to me..."

"Kureno you have to protect me!"

"AKITO! It's Shigure you sped show. Of course he's coming to visit you now chill." I said, trying to stay calm.

Then I noticed his ploy, how could I be so stupid. "Akito, you already knew it was Shigure." I said. He smirked and then did his stupid little girly giggle. "...Maybe. But you fell for it Kureno! And you cared! That means you like meee! You didn't want me to get raped; you would have beaten the person up for meee!" He said dancing around and making a fool of himself.

"No, really, I don't care that much, I really just wanted you to shut up." I replied. His happy face turned to a glare and I could tell he was going to attack. Of course, he went for the closest thing, the computer, but he couldn't lift it, so instead he resorted to unplugging the mouse and throwing it as my leg.

It was really stupid, but I pretended it hurt so he would feel special. Of course, he was now in one of his pissed-off-at-the-world moods, so it was really bad timing for Shigure to want to come. On top of that, Tohru was going to come too, so I had to think of something quick.

**Well, let's take a wild guess at who's coming next chapter? It'll be extra special though, because Kureno gets to help out Tohru! I promise it'll more fun than any other chapters. (Well I hope so at least!)**


	5. Camo jumpsuit and an AK47

It's been soo long, I'm real sorry about that horribly long wait, but thank you to the readers who stuck it out and are ready for this chapter! I'm pretty sure it's one of the longest so far!

I have to warn you now…of my spilt personalities. I wrote the beginning of this story with both my little people (I named them Rosiel and Raphiel, my happy boy buddies in my head!) were balanced.

But, I'm afraid to say that right now Raphiel is in full force, and sadly, he has a dirty mouth. And mind, but we won't go there! So this chapter has a lot of swearing, nothing too intense I hope, but if you're uncomfortable with that I just want to warn you!

Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket or an AK-47 :sighs: I freaking wish.

Raphiel: SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY.

(He secretly hates me. A lot.)

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Oh God. Oh God, oh God, oh God.

Damn it Shigure. Damn you! Why would he decide to bring Tohru? WHY? Is it because he hates me and wants me to get my ass kicked by Akito? Maybe. Is it because he's a complete idiot and thinks things through half way and then stops thinking all together? Probably!

Yes, Akito will try to rip Tohru's hair out, but after she leaves, that's when he freaks out. I mean like --- woah.

Last time she came, she wanted to just "talk to him about life". WHAT THE HELL TOHRU? Why would you come here for some stupid reason like that?

Damn it Tohru. Damn you! You're just going to feel Akito's wrath. Over and over and over again. That sounded dirty. Oh dear, indeed. For really!

But anyways, even though I cursed non-stop for two days straight in my head about her coming, it did nothing to stop her. Akito put on his happy face and decided to be all fake, AGAIN. But he's pretty smart, I mean, she falls for his act every time.

He was really excited this time, then he announced why over breakfast. "Ooooh Reno-poo. I just can't wait! I bought an AK-47 that has Tohru's name written all over it! I just can't wait to blow her happy little head off!" He said, smiling so happily I thought his face might crack.

This was not good. Not good at all. I might be mad at Tohru for deciding to come, and mad at Shigure for being dumb enough to let her come, but that was no reason to let her die and The Man/Woman's hands. No reason at all.

So, I started plotting. I plotted like no other; I was the best plotter ever. I OWNED plotting. Like **woah**. So, after writing down various plans in different languages so Akito couldn't read them, I decided they all sucked and burned my paper with a lighter I had stolen from Hatori after he "accidentally" blew up a rooster while doing some weirdo science experiment. REVENGE!

Anyways, I wasn't sure what to do, so I decided to have a group meeting with, well Hatori because he's the only one who really talks with me except Akito. I told him my dilemma, and he decided to call Shigure and talk him out of coming, but of course he just had to refuse and say he and Tohru were on there way over **right now**.

Uh-ooooooooh.

"Kureno, there's only one resolve." He said calmly. What you stupid chicken killing bastard? What could you have possibly come up with! "...You'll have to dress up like Tohru and pretend to be her."

No. I draw the line at cross dressing. She can die for all I care there is no way in hell that I'm going to parade around like a happy little girl to save some stupid chicks life. No, no, no and no again! Hatori, you're stupid. Why don't **you** go dress up like Tohru! Huh, huh?

**15 minutes later: **"Now there you go Kureno, it doesn't look too bad. Let's just fix your wig a little, your hair is showing through on the side."

Damn it.

"Okay, now I'll go to the door and greet them and steal Tohru and you take her place." Hatori said, pushing me out of the safety of the room he forced me to dress up in. That sounded dirty too. Bad day.

I casually flicked him off as he walked down the hall, leaving me to not get caught before the act. I of course took this time to practice my Tohru voice. I think I did pretty damn good too. I have never in my life got my voice that high, ever. It was fun...ny. Funny. Not fun. Like hell I would have fun talking like a girl! Chyeah...psht.

Finally Shigure came down the hall. I fell in step behind him, but he stopped suddenly and turned around, only to see that short pretty Tohru had grown about 8 inches and had small side-burns. "Tohru...what the hell did you eat for breakfast?" He asked, looking at me strangely.

I shrugged, not wanting him to suspect me if I used my fake girly voice. That would just be bad. We finally got to Akito's little sitting room.

I was sure I would be greeted with a fake smile that was usually granted to the annoying girl, but instead, Shigure and I were left with the scene of Akito standing, AK-47 in hand, in a camouflage jump-suit.

"What the hell." Shigure asked. Akito glared madly in my direction, "I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU TOHRU WHO GREW EXTREMELY TALL AND SCARY LOOKING IN THE PAST TWO WEEKS! NOW YOU DIE!" He yelled.

"Nooooo." I said, trying to be afraid, but I was pretty sure that gun was more powerful than Akito and he would probably hurt himself in the process of "attempting" to shoot me, leaving the bullets to be stray and me to be unharmed. Oh yes.

Shigure and Akito turned to me; I knew my voice would kill the act.

"Tohru...why is your voice..." Shigure started.

"IT'S SO HIGH." Akito screeched madly.

"Um, that's because, umm..." THINK KURENO! Hell of a time to not know how to reply. "Um! HE...HELIUM!"

"Helium?" Shigure asked oddly.

"Yes, I sucked in...helium before we came. From...a balloon." I said.

Shigure and Akito shrugged and went to sit down, Akito had abandoned the gun while I was thinking of something to say, probably because it got to heavy, serves him right.

Other than a few times that Akito glared in my direction, he didn't pounce and try to attack. I think he was afraid of how tall I had grown.

FINALLY, after 2 hours of chit-chat and make out sessions that I was not part of, thank God, Shigure decided it was best to leave. I followed him out to where I knew Hatori was keeping Tohru captive.

...I wonder what they did the whole time they were waiting. That was purposely dirty. And very much enjoyed...in my head.

Never mind that.

Everything went as planned, but as me and Hatori were walking back to where my normal clothes were, Akito could be heard screaming "HATORI DAMMIT!" Through-out the house. "I should probably see what he wants, you hide around the corner."

I sighed, pulling the stupid girl wig off. Stupid Hatori, why can't I just get changed! God.

"I can't find Reno-poo!" Akito cried to Hatori. "Oh...he's right here." Hatori replied. I froze up, there was **no way in hell** I was going to pop out dressed like a girl. Akito would get way too much enjoyment out of that. **Way too much**.

I felt a stupid cold hand wrap around my wrist and pull me out of hiding. Akito stared at me, shocked to the point of not being able to talk. "Really Kureno? I mean, I know Ritsu does that, but..." Akito asked.

"Yeah I...I..." I clearly couldn't say why I was dressed like this. I couldn't ruin myself completely, and I couldn't tell him the truth. I _could_ tell him Hatori did it to me, but...well that would just lead to more awkward questions and I would probably get killed by Akito for stealing Hatori. Or by Hatori for making up he was gay. Probably is gay though...

Never mind that.

"Kureno likes to dress up like a girl sometimes." Hatori blurted out. I felt myself die. Right there. On the spot in my frilly pink dress. Life is cruel.

And Hatori was going to die. There was still a perfectly good gun in Akito's room. A perfectly good gun to kill Hatori with! HAH! **Revenge**.

"Well, why are you with him?" Akito asked. Hatori stuttered a bit, "Because...we're together...?" He said, I could tell he was ready to cry for saying that.

Abort revenge. I'm sure saying that he was gay is sufficient revenge for saying I liked to dress up like a girl.

"Oh!" Akito said, and then skipped off. I don't think it registered with him what "together" meant, but really, I don't think that'll ever bother either of us.

"Never take about this again?' I said. Hatori nodded and quickly rushed down the hall.

Beautiful day it was, until Aktio decided he had a special plan for tomorrow.

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Oooh what did Akito plan for he and Kureno? We'll just have to wait and find out now won't we?

This is random, but last night I watched that Naruto show (which to me sounds like Nerd-Toe but don't mind me.), and I was actually pretty interested. I usually loath all shows that cut out a lot of the awesome violence and swearing, haha, but I actually liked this a little.

But I need help figuring it out, because well, I'm going to use the blonde card here. So if you watch the show help meee!


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